i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
