I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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