There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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