you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
