Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
