it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
