Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
