If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
