i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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