It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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