This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize