If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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