THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
