I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize