I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
