I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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