Plan B is the new Plan A
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
