I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
