I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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