You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
