all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
