Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
