I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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