she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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