You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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