Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
