The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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