I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
what is it with giant penises always finding me
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
3pm strippers are depressing
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
