She went from zero to smokin in five shots
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
