it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
