I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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