Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just wanna soil my oats bro
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
