i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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