Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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