I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
you're hired as official boob wrangler
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
