on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
