Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
