You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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