i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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