The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Oh god it's open bar.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
