so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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