Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You made out with two different species that night
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
