I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
