so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize