id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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