you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize