Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
