i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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