so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
