I think I died a long time ago.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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