Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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