So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
