high people should be assigned attendants
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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