real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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