Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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