i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
