I will die if light touches me.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
