i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
