You made me cry and you don't even care
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
