Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Please don't give away my fajitas
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
