my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
