Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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