I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
