how can u be prego again
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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