i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
