Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
