school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
