if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
