You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I think people are normalizing furries
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
