Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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