We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
